


Yesterday when I was mad

by MelanieQuinlan



Category: Pet Shop Boys
Genre: Arguing, Friendship, Gen, Pop music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29820234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelanieQuinlan/pseuds/MelanieQuinlan
Summary: Set in 1992, during the aftermath of the Performance Tour. Neil and Chris argue. Neil is so angry, he wants to quit. Chris just wants to have lunch.
Relationships: Neil Tennant & Chris Lowe
Kudos: 5





	Yesterday when I was mad

“Where is Chris?” Chris asked as he finally came rushing into the office at PSB Partnership. He was referring to Chris Heath, author of Pet Shop Boys Literally. He knew he was late but that could not be helped now, so he let the door fall shut behind him with a loud bang, threw his jacket over the next best chair and flopped down on the sofa next to the armchair in which Neil was sitting. When his friend didn't reply right away, Chris looked up. What he saw, irritated the hell out of him. Neil was not watching him, ready to scold him for being late yet again as was his custom. No, Neil wasn't even looking at him. He was half hidden behind the latest edition of the The Daily Telegraph and acted as if Chris wasn't there. Chris frowned, suddenly feeling uneasy. What was wrong?

“What's the matter?” He asked. He tried for nonchalant and just hoped that Neil didn't pick up how much that cold shoulder treatment bothered him. Still no reaction. Instead, Neil turned a page of his newspaper and continued reading. Chris ran a hand over his face, then took off his cap and used it to slap his thigh. He silently counted to 30 in his head, then tried again.

“Neil? What's up? What's bitten you, huh?”

Again, Neil didn't answer for a long moment. Chris could all but stare at his friend and wonder what on earth he'd done to deserve that kind of treatment. The more seconds ticked by, the more nervous he got.

“This is ridiculous,” he scolded himself. “It's not like I've been rude to him or anything!”

“Neil?” He tried again, feeling almost humble. “Talk to me, man. What's the bloody matter?”

That time Neil did react. He folded down his newspaper and faced Chris. The glance he threw him over the rim of his glasses was chilling enough to make a little cold shiver run down Chris' spine. He took his time to put the paper aside and then folded his arms across his chest and fixed Chris with another cold stare.

“Uh-uh,” Chris thought. “Seems I'm in trouble. Wish I knew why, though!”

“Oh, so finally you decide to grace me with your presence, do you?” Neil asked, his voice dripping sarcasm.

“Yeah, I know I'm late,” Chris hesitantly admitted. “You know how it is, traffic jam and all.”

Neil got up very slowly and stood glaring down at Chris for a moment. “Oh yes, I do know how it is,” he replied in a dangerously calm voice. “Mainly because I...,” he paused for a second and Chris noticed how his friend's hands had curled into fists, “...because I am always the one who has to invent excuses for you if you,” he jabbed Chris' shoulders for emphasis, “are late, can't be bothered or just don't care! I'm sick and tired of having to cover your back. I'm not your god-damn nanny!”

Chris flinched slightly as Neil's voice rose in both volume and pitch. “Hey, calm down,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I'm only half an hour late. It's no big deal.”

“No big deal?” Neil repeated and took another step closer to the sofa on which Chris was sitting. The eyes behind his glasses had narrowed, his lips curled in obvious disgust. “You haven't heard a word of what I've been saying, have you? It's a big deal because it happens all the fucking time! Has it ever occurred to you in what kind of situation you're putting me in with that kind of behaviour? I'm the idiot who has to clean up every mess you make! I have to produce excuses and explanations and plain lies because you can't be arsed to tell me what going on in that thick head of yours,” Neil was shouting by then, his cheeks were flushed, and a vein had begun to pulse at the side of his forehead.

Chris leaned as far back on the sofa as he could. When Neil was in that kind of mood, it was always best to stay out of his reach in case he tried to slap you. “Neil, just listen,” he began but Neil cut him short with an impatient wave of his hand.

“No, now it's your turn to listen, Chris! Do you know why we were supposed to meet here?”

“Well, yeah. To discuss the book with Chris Heath,” Chris answered dutifully. He had no idea what the reason for their early morning meeting had to do with anything but for now he decided to humour Neil.

“Yes. We were supposed to discuss the book with Chris Heath. We! As in you and I and not Chris Heath and I! Knowing you, you haven't even read the damn thing!”

“No, I haven't. Well, you know, not all of it. You know me, I just... It's too embarrassing to read about what I've said and done.”

“Oh yeah?” Neil snapped. “But I have to read it, don't I? Regardless of how I feel about it. Tell you what, I've had enough! I'm not going to put up with this kind of crap any longer. I'm not everybody's fool and I'm not your punching bag either!”

He turned on his heel and marched over to the door, back very straight, head held high. Chris found himself just staring at his friend, mouth hanging open in bewilderment.

“What? Wait! What do you mean?”

Neil froze in mid-motion, his hand already resting on the doorknob. “Just what I said. I've had enough,” he answered without turning to face Chris. “I quit; I'm calling it a day. That's what I mean.”

His words hung heavily in the silence that stretched between them. Neil could feel them like a bunch of stones in his stomach and almost regretted having finally spoken them aloud. Was he really prepared to quit the band? To leave it all behind? He had no clue, but he knew he was not going to back down this time. He'd apologized often enough for something that wasn't his fault. He'd smiled too often when in truth he should've kicked Chris' bum all the way back to Blackpool. 

“You're not serious,” Chris muttered after a while. “You can't be. Not when we didn't even had lunch yet.”

Neil blinked and turned to look at his friend. He couldn't believe his ears. He was threatening to walk out of Pet Shop Boys and Chris was talking about food?

“Maybe you'll be less grumpy after lunch at The Ivy,” Chris went on. He was even grinning again. The nerve of that bloke! “Come on, why don't we go now?”

Despite of himself Neil couldn't stop himself from beginning to laugh. At first, he was only giggling, then laughing hard but that soon gained an edge of hysteria and before he knew why, he was fighting against the tears that were burning in his eyes. Tears of anger maybe, or frustration or maybe even regret.

Chris' face-expression had changed, his grin had faded and instead he looked solemn. Suddenly Neil had the strange feeling that Chris had understood very well and was just as scared by the sudden possibility of PSB ending as he was. He blinked again, furiously this time, unwilling to let Chris see just how upset he really was. Before he could think up a cutting remark, Chris had sneaked up next to him and had an arm slung around his shoulder.

“Come on, let's go. Let's have lunch. We can talk then. You can nag me all you want after I had a pint or two.”

“Only if you pay for my wine,” Neil replied with a small smile. Maybe he wouldn't have to answer his earlier questions just yet.


End file.
